Stephanie Fein MD [00:00:00]:
Hello, fabulous. It's Dr. Stephanie Fein here with weight Loss for fertility. I am so excited to talk to you today. I just talked to someone who wanted to jumpstart her weight loss with a juice cleanse. She did a one day juice cleanse. And as a bit of an aside, but an important one, this is an example of all or nothing thinking. Okay, the idea of starting weight loss with a juice cleanse, you know, something really restrictive, it's super duper common.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:00:34]:
You may have found yourself doing it too. And yo, yo, weight gain is a manifestation as a result of all or nothing thinking. So we're either eating nothing or we're eating everything and there's nothing in between. In this case, of course, it's not absolutely nothing, but it's just juice. It's such an appealing idea because it sort of goes with the way our brain thinks. All or nothing is very comforting. We feel like we understand it, it's all or nothing. But the truth is, life, the world, doesn't work that way.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:01:10]:
It's rarely ever all or absolutely nothing. It's just a much easier place for our brain to be. It understands it very clearly. Our brain does not. Messiness, I sometimes call it gray because it's not black or white, it's gray. Our brain can get frustrated with discomfort of not knowing, not being 100% certain. The way the brain is 100% certain is all or nothing, but it just doesn't work that way. And so when we fall into this very, very common societal, cultural thing of all or nothing about dieting, a juice cleanse is something that occurs to people like, aha, that's a good idea.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:01:59]:
But it only sets us up to flip flop between gaining weight and losing weight. Right, because all is gaining weight, nothing is losing weight. But it's in between where we can lose weight and maintain our weight forever. Because we can never eat nothing forever. We can't. And we can't eat all forever. We can, but we will continue to gain weight. We'll be very uncomfortable.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:02:22]:
We won't feel well. So this is why all or nothing does not work. Our brains can't sustain it. They like the idea, but in real life, it does not work. So there we are. That's what I think about juice cleanse in general. We do it differently around here, of course, because that is not sustainable. All or nothing.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:02:45]:
We learn to use the hunger scale. And the hunger scale is the perfect tool to teach us how to walk in that spacious middle of not one extreme or the other, just in the middle and Learning how to do that is everything. That is how we have sustainable weight loss. We eat when we're hungry, following the hunger scale, what feels good in our bodies, what we want. And we stop when we're satisfied. Not full, not physically uncomfortable. We love our bodies enough to listen to their needs and when they need fuel, and then when they've had enough. We rely on our bodies to tell us when they're hungry, when they've had enough.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:03:25]:
Happy to listen to you. You're the one who's in charge of the fuel. You're the one who processes it. Let me know when you need some. Let me know when you've had enough. Great. I'll keep going with my life. That's what we're looking to do.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:03:37]:
And there's a ton of gray in there. Middle in there. And learning how to handle our brains in the middle with potential discomforts of not having all or nothing. Because that doesn't work. That is how we lose weight around here. This is how it's sustained forever. Beautiful. It works like a dream, forever, always.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:04:02]:
Because you can sustain weight loss this way, because you just lose weight and then you eat this way forever. The beauty, of course, also is that it strengthens the relationship you have with your body and yourself in the process. And it safeguards and bulletproofs your weight loss. It's just. It's amazing. I'm always happy to teach you. Go to stephaniefinemd.com to get started. So love that.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:04:28]:
So good. And all that is really important. But that's not actually what I wanted to talk about today in terms of the bringing up the juice cleanse. It's just such a good example of all or nothing thinking. Again, most people who want to lose weight think that, and there's good reason, because everywhere in the universe you look, they're trying to hock that. It just doesn't last. Okay, so that's not exactly what I wanted to talk about. My friend said something.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:04:52]:
She made a connection that, while completely understandable, is just not true. It's not an actual connection. And that is what I wanted to talk about, she said. But when I did the juice thing, I felt energized. The juicing gave me energy. And what I want to say, what I said to her and what I want to say to you is it wasn't the juice that gave her energy. It was something completely different. And that difference is everything for understanding permanent weight loss.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:05:29]:
So she made the connection that having fewer calories or only fruit veggie juice was what was making her feel energized. Now, this is a perfect example because it was one day, so it had. By the time she was thinking she was feeling energized, it was only half a day. Many people would have done the same thing, assuming that it was the change in eating that gave her the energy that she wasn't feeling before. But that half day of liquid is not. What did was what she was telling herself all day that gave her energy. And we talked about it. So I know the thoughts she was thinking, she was telling herself, I'm so proud.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:06:14]:
Look what I'm able to do. I can do this. She was thinking those thoughts because she heard her brain say, why don't you have a sandwich? And she'd respond back to her brain to say, you know, we've committed to doing this today, so let's stick to it. And then she did, and she said to herself, I'm so proud. And when she noticed that when she was able to not go get the sandwich, say, she was doing the juice and did it, she was really proud of herself. She was proud that she did what she said she was gonna do. And saying to yourself, I'm so proud. Saying to yourself, nice job doing what you said you were going to do.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:06:59]:
Makes you feel energized. The thoughts are the things creating the feeling of energy. You're doing this. You're capable. Look at what you're doing. I'm so proud of you. You've got this. Those thoughts are energizing.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:07:21]:
And I feel like I could stop here if I could download this into your brain. It is so valuable, and you can say it to yourself now. I'm so proud of you. I remember when I was talking to her and I was saying that she said, I'm so proud of you. I felt energized. Saying the words, just saying the words. I'm so proud of you. Try it.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:07:43]:
I'm so proud of you. It feels amazing. And that is what is giving the energy. It's such an important point to make. And I'm going to explain how this is. Thoughts create feelings, juice, or any diet, any circumstance does not. Okay? And here's a little bit of proof. Someone could be having the same juice.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:08:12]:
Like, let's. I don't know what the exact juices were, but let's say, you know, they're juices and someone else could be having the exact same juice that day. Let's say they were prepping for, like, a procedure, like a colonoscopy. They would have a completely different set of Thoughts. And then they wouldn't feel energized. So they may be thinking, I hate this, I'm hungry. This is terrible. When you say to yourself, I hate this, I'm hungry.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:08:37]:
This is terrible. You do not feel energized. You feel the opposite of energized. It's the same juice, but you feel completely different in these two scenarios because the thoughts are completely different. It's not the juice, it's the thoughts. So this concept of thoughts create feelings is cognitive behavioral theory. It's a theory. I like to say it's sort of like gravity, the idea that thoughts create feelings.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:09:16]:
And there's a model that's a way of thinking about it. So it's. I'm going to just tell you what the model is. The model is, it's like five lines, one on top of the other. There's a circumstance. Like juice is a circumstance. It's a neutral circumstance. It's something, an object, something out in the world that we can point to.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:09:40]:
And then our brain has a thought about it. So there's a circumstance, and underneath there, there's a thought which creates a feeling. Feelings drive actions and actions create results. So it's circumstances, thoughts, feelings, action, result. And this is the only direction it goes. It's always that first we have a thought and then we have a feeling. It's not the other way around. And then feelings motivate actions and add up those actions.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:10:14]:
You get results. Whenever there's a feeling, a thought preceded it, not a circumstance. So it wasn't the juice that created the feeling. It was the thought between the juice and the feeling. The thought. Let me say that better. The thought after thinking of the juice. I did it.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:10:40]:
I'm doing it. Feels energizing. I hate this. This is terrible. Does not feel energizing. Same juice. If you haven't already. Try it now.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:10:52]:
I feel proud. How does that feel? This concept of thoughts creating feelings is so important to understand so we can get out of the all or nothing diet roller coaster. Now, truth be told, it helps with everything. But we talk about weight loss here, so that's what we're going to focus on. So we can see with this concept that it's not the juice that makes us light. It's our thoughts about ourselves that does. And it's our thoughts that keep us going when we're in the process of losing weight. When we know this, we don't have to torture our bodies in the process.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:11:34]:
We don't have to restrict or deprive or punish or Shame ourselves. In fact, now that you see how it works with thoughts and feelings, you can see how that only harms us. And the whole process. Depriving, punishing, shaming. Thoughts that create. That create a block for us to lose weight. Thinking thoughts like, you can't control yourself. You messed up again.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:12:01]:
You can't eat that. You're hopeless. I feel terrible just saying these sentences out loud. And I'm not believing them, even just saying them. That is how sensitive our system can be. But those types of sentences, things that we tell ourselves, which many of us tell ourselves all the time, and you can see when we know that thoughts create feelings, that it means we're feeling dejected, judged, fatigued. Nothing good, nothing that leads to actions that evoke change or can get us to goals that we want. It makes it harder, not easier.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:12:40]:
Whereas saying things like, good job. You made a great choice. I'm proud of you. Next time, we'll try that. They feel so much better, and then we're motivated to keep going. And a lot of the time, it's the same circumstance. Could have happened. I ate more potato chips than I intended on eating.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:13:00]:
I could say, you're hopeless. Or I could say, next time we'll try it a little bit differently. What a huge difference between how that feels. You're hopeless. Has me feeling dejected, rejected, sad. Maybe even, like, now. I don't care. Let me finish the bag.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:13:23]:
And next time we'll try it a little bit differently. Feels hopeful or like a little bit of energy. But, yes, I can do that. I can try it differently next time. Oh, I'm learning. Oh, look at that. Same circumstance. Ate more potato chips than I wanted.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:13:41]:
One way has me motivated for tomorrow. The other has me spinning and needing comfort. More vulnerable and likely to overeat, not make choices that I'm happy with for dinner, sit on the couch. If I say, oh, you know what? Tomorrow I'm gonna do it a little differently. I may go for a walk because I'm feeling fine, I'm feeling great. But if I'm feeling terrible, I may just be sitting down and flipping on the tv. I'm hoping I'm making it clear how this could affect weight loss directly. Finding more places to say things, good things, things that are believable and true, will help you stay on track, feel better in the process, and get to your weight loss goal.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:14:37]:
And we really can say these things more often to ourselves, and we do need to mean them. We can't just say good job when we really think we did a Terrible job. But what we can do is find ways to give ourselves believable compliments. So if we're using the hunger scale, if we ate at negative two, we can say things like, I'm so proud of that. Good job. Wow, you did it. If we stopped at positive two, we can say the same kinds of things. Amazing.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:15:11]:
I'm so impressed. Good job. We can even say that if we stopped at positive three. If we're used to stopping at positive four, and we stop at positive three this time. That's amazing. We tell ourselves that. Look at you. I'm impressed.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:15:29]:
That was a great job. Wow. You did that. And when we. When we say that, we may even follow it. It, like, naturally follows, like, ooh, what did you do? How did you manage that? Oh, well, I only took this much this time. Oh, great idea. Let's do that next time.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:15:47]:
It just creates an environment where we can be curious, we can feel safe to try things. We feel better. Instead of the punishing way of, oh, you were supposed to eat that and you didn't, and that's terrible, and you never can do what you say you're going to do. That doesn't help us. This concept of thoughts create feelings is central to life in general, but to weight loss, your thoughts are the things that determine your feelings, not the other way around. When we're talking about weight loss, unhelpful thoughts have us feeling defeated, dejected, hopeless, frustrated, powerless. That doesn't get us very far. When we're trying to achieve something, helpful thoughts have us feeling empowered, happy, determined, resilient, flexible.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:16:46]:
That gets us where we want to go. Spending more time finding places to be proud, using your hunger scale, watch the weight come off. No restriction, deprivation, or punishment required. I would love to hear how this landed. What you thought. If you have any questions, you can reach me from my website, stephaniefeinmd.com you can contact me there. I would love to hear from you. And also, I'm on Instagram.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:17:17]:
@Stephanie Fein MD. You can message me anything. I would love to connect with you. And those are also good ways if you want to lose weight with me too. I'm sending you so much love until next week.
