Stephanie Fein MD [00:00:01]:
Hello, fabulous Dr. Stephanie Fein here with Weight Loss for Fertility. And I hope you got a lot out of the Hunger Scale Handbook series. It was the deep dive into my very favorite tool and you got a lot of it. If you ever have any questions about any of that, you just reach out to me. I'm on Instagram stephaniefinemd or my website is stephaniefynmd.com you can contact me there, ask me any questions. I just love that tool. And we got that important information to you.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:00:36]:
Hopefully you're working on the hunger scale, which is the foundation of the weight Loss for fertility way of losing weight. And basically everything that I talk about uses that as the foundation. And today we're going to be talking about Halloween. So if you've listened to the Hunger Scale Handbook series, you are well equipped. And if you haven't, they're available to you anytime. So you can go binge those if you like. If you're listening in real time, this is the week of Halloween 2025. It's already the end of October.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:01:14]:
It's hard to imagine. And this time around, the time of Halloween marks the beginning of the Bermuda Triangle for weight gain. It's the food holiday trifecta of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. And we actually have the bonus New Year's Eve, which is the alcohol holiday. So it just can start to be a time especially for people when they're trying to lose weight. That can feel scary. It can feel like a time, forget it, I'm not gonna lose weight until the new year. But that's never a great thought.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:01:50]:
That's what I want to say because it's not true. You really can lose weight during this time. And in fact, it's my favorite time for people to lose weight because it's almost like a advanced level course because there are different exposures that you don't necessarily have the rest of the year, but there are ways to handle them and you get to practice and it just works out really well. So I love, love, love this time, but it does require a little more support, especially if you're starting now. And that's why I'm always here every year with the Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas support podcasts. We are definitely going to talk more about hand to hand. We are definitely going to talk more about how to handle the rest of the holidays in coming episodes. And we have past episodes from three holiday seasons that I've already gone through to mine for what you want to listen to, for all the support you'll need.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:02:50]:
So you are covered. And the previous Halloween Episodes which are episode 50 and 102, which we will hook up in the show notes, can tell you the best day to buy your Halloween candy, which hint is not yet, even though we're just days before Halloween. And then also how to plan for the next nine weeks. The planning for the nine weeks between now and the end of the year is a really important way. And believe you me, the plan is not avoid all cakes and cookies and candy. That is not the plan. That's not the plan I'm talking about. So listen to the episodes because if there's not a plan, there's a risk of falling into the dark hole of the Bermuda Triangle of weight gain.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:03:38]:
And I want to keep you out of that if possible. So I highly recommend giving those episodes a listen. Today I want to talk to you about the difference between diet culture Halloween and weight loss for fertility Halloween. Now, the truth is this is basically the same as for a diet culture Thanksgiving, a diet culture Christmas diet culture New Year's, a diet culture Hanukkah, any food holiday, and the weight loss for fertility way of doing those holidays. So this is going to be just a good example. We're going to use Halloween because it's at the beginning and this will serve you for the rest of the holidays. And there really is a very big difference between diet culture Halloween and weight loss for fertility Halloween. And by examining the difference, I can show you the biggest benefit of this way of losing weight, the weight loss or fertility way.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:04:40]:
And I'm just gonna tell you what that is. The biggest benefit is the way you feel while you're losing the weight. It's really important. The way you feel while you're losing the weight will predict whether you're going to keep the weight off or whether you're going to gain it back. And if you feel good, you will continue, you will keep the weight off, you will continue losing until you're done with the amount you want to lose. And you will be able to keep it off if you feel terrible, if it feels hard, you won't. And it turns out that our feelings, that feeling, knowing when you're feeling tight or bad and when you're feeling good, that is helpful information pointing you in the right direction of how you're losing weight. So knowing our feelings, how it feels very important.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:05:39]:
So here's the Halloween example in diet culture. And when I talk about diet culture, I'm talking about the traditional dieting of restricting depriving, don't eat this. How hacks to help you not think of candy or just deprivation. Is diet culture temporary? Yeah, restricting. That's really the mainstay of diet culture. So when we're talking about a diet culture Halloween, this the main piece of it, the main sort of rule, the telltale sign is forbidding yourself any candy, that, look, if I'm going to lose weight, I cannot have any candy ever. And so you don't buy any. You may hide it if you do.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:06:28]:
I remember doing that. I would buy it for the kids in the neighborhood, and then of course, it would disappear. That's where the idea for when to buy Halloween candy, it's on Halloween, by the way, came from. Because every day before that it would disappear anyway. That's a side note, but when you're doing diet culture Halloween, you're forbidding yourself from having any candy, so you don't buy it or you hide it, or you criticize anyone for bringing it near you. Have you ever done that? Like mad at them. They know you're on a diet, so they shouldn't bring candy around. It's so common.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:07:09]:
And once we lose weight, the weight loss for fertility weight, we can see it as. Comical isn't the right word, because I know how painful it is, and it really feels that way. That we want to control everyone around us so that our environment can be controlled, so that we aren't tempted with urges and get ourselves into a place where we're judging ourselves, criticizing ourselves. It's not possible to control everyone's behavior, and it's not necessary. That's really the bigger deal. But when we're in this mode of forbidding ourselves to have any candy, then that's what we're doing. That's what we're spending our time doing. We comment when others are eating candy around us or when they're deciding to eat it.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:07:54]:
We make it hard for others to enjoy the candy that they want, that the grownups around us want, and then we make that about us. There's lots of energy around avoiding the candy. And of course, this is an example of food noise, right? So if we're constantly thinking of how to avoid it, how not to have it, we want it, but we're not letting ourselves have it. They can't have it. They shouldn't bring it near me. That's food noise. And we actually heighten food noise with this kind of behavior, of deciding we're never allowed to have candy. When we try to deny our desire, we've set up a fight.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:08:36]:
It's an adversarial relationship within ourselves, and it's Constant, then we can't release it. In order to have one side, we have to keep the other. I always think of people in prison and the jailers who have to guard them. The guards, they're both in prison. And that is the setup we're doing when we're forbidding ourselves from having candy when we want it. And most of us do want some. So this is the problem. If you don't want it, more power to you.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:09:09]:
But I wouldn't want us to lie about that either. If you really don't want it, great, not a problem. You're good in this area. But if you do, and most of us do really like to have some candy on Halloween, then this way of setting it up makes it a battle every day. And it's really exhausting. It takes energy and requires vigilance. And no one has that much energy or vigilance 24 7. When the inevitable happens and our guard is down or anything that we've been trying to avoid, a binge ensues, and you may have experienced that.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:09:56]:
No. And the second there's a breach, for whatever reason, we are exhausted, something happened for whatever reason, then it's a no holds barred eat the entire bag of fun sized candies. And the all or nothing thinking, which we have with diet culture, that I should have none if I want to lose weight. And then when that isn't possible because just humans, it's very challenging to drop something that we've had and we're just forbidding ourselves all or nothing, then we have all right, if we're forbidding ourselves, we have none. And then there's a little breach because we can't be that vigilant all the time. Then often we'll go to all. We eat the whole thing, we get sick, we feel guilt and shame, and then there's a part where we're feeling the shame and the guilt. And then in order to get out of that, we either start the cycle over.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:10:59]:
Okay, that was a failure. Let's try it again. You couldn't do it that time. Maybe we can do it. Or we use it as an excuse to give up with our desire for weight loss until January, which is what most people do. And you can see the problem with that. That does not get us to our goal. All or nothing thinking is not helpful.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:11:25]:
And that's the usual thinking of a diet culture. And in this case, we're talking diet culture, Halloween. There's just lots of judgment and criticism that goes into this whole process. First, forbidding yourself, criticizing yourself for Wanting it, being vigilant, blaming others, blaming ourselves, judging the fact that we want it, it all feels terrible. And then if we end up eating it, and often it will be a binge because we've forbidden it the whole time, then we feel guilt and shame. And that is the setup that I want to avoid at all costs. And the reason I want to avoid that is because it damages our relationship with ourselves. It damages it.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:12:15]:
So we started off, we wanted to lose weight. We do it in this way, and we come out not having lost weight and damaged our relationship with ourselves. It's really an unproductive process. So now let's talk about Halloween, the weight loss for fertility way. And remember what I said, that the biggest benefit is how you feel, feel losing weight. So Halloween, the weight loss or fertility way means you can have the candy you like. You're acknowledging that you have a desire for candy. You maybe enjoy the memories of thinking when you were little and the favorite ones you had and which ones you picked out and you saved and traded and all that.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:13:04]:
It's fun to think about that. And then it's fun to think about deciding which candy you're gonna have. And here's the thing, though. You can always have candy. So this doesn't become, like, the only time you're gonna have candy, which is a setup with the diet culture way. Right? Like, I'm definitely never having candy any other time. So I can only have candy now. And if I just get through Halloween, then I'll be golden.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:13:33]:
And that makes the stakes higher during Halloween and sets us up for a binge. If we're forbidding ourselves and not that's diet culture, but here in the weight loss or fertility way, we can have candy anytime you want, if you want it, if you genuinely want it, there is absolutely a way to have it as you're losing weight. So that's number one. Have it whenever you want, if you want it around Halloween. Amazing. We don't vilify ourselves for having a desire for candy. It's not a problem. Already now we've taken our desire for candy in the weight loss for fertility way, and we've honored it and we've thought of it as normal and we're taking it into account.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:14:21]:
That feels so much better than forbidding and being vigilant and criticizing ourselves for wanting candy. And then the main way that we do it in weight loss for fertility is plan when you're going to have it. So not only are we acknowledging that we want it and we're deciding which Ones we are. And we're getting excited about having the ones we want. And then we plan it the times we're going to have it. The type. Are we going to have it at a party? Are we going to have it on Halloween? Are we going to have it alone? Are we going to have it with friends? How are we going to have it? It's amazing because then you know exactly when it's coming. So when the Snickers comes out, you're like, oh, I'm going to have one of those on Wednesday, or, ooh, I'm going to have one of those tomorrow after dinner.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:15:09]:
You know exactly when that's happening. It's not a problem. And then the other part I really like about this is making it a part of the meal as dessert. Remember around here, we eat when we're hungry, stop when we're satisfied. So we're making candy part of the me one of our meals that we are hungry for. And then we stop eating when we're satisfied, not full. And we fit the candy in there. That's part of the meal.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:15:39]:
And we still stop when we've had enough food for the meal. We just want to make sure the candy fits in there so we may have a little less food, the meal part, so that we'll have enough sort of room for the candy. And one of the reasons we do it that way is that when we have sugar, concentrated sugar, processed sugar with regular food, it makes it so that the sugar spike is not nearly as high and steep, and so the insulin doesn't have to be as high and steep and it doesn't crash you. Not only is there a crash that where you might feel tired or have another craving for sugar if it crashes, but also it's better for, like, your bloodstream to have the glucose come out more slowly over time rather than spiking. It also just physically feels better if we have a whole bunch of candy, particularly if we're not hungry. We're just having it because we're binging it. We've told ourselves we can't, and now all of a sudden we're exposed to it and we just can't help ourselves when we eat, a lot of will feel terrible. Like you will feel the sugar high, it won't feel good, and then you will crash.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:16:51]:
Like, we want to avoid not feeling well in so many different ways with the weight loss for fertility weight. We want to physically feel well, and we want to emotionally feel well and mentally feel well. We don't want to physically overeat because that's uncomfortable for our stomach. We don't want to have a whole bunch of sugar without a counterbalance all at once, because that doesn't feel good physically either. And then the main one, of course, is that we don't want to beat ourselves up and criticize ourselves and feel guilt and shame. So we have the setup so that doesn't happen. These are all things that don't have to happen in weight loss. We don't have to feel physically uncomfortable and we don't have to feel emotionally uncomfortable.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:17:37]:
When we make the candy part of the meal, and eating when we're hungry, stopping when we're satisfied, then we're not overeating it, and we're also not eating it when we're not hungry. We're having it as part of the meal. So we are going to be hungry for the meal. We eat it when we're hungry, stop it when we're satisfied. It really saves us the emotional and physical discomfort. And then when we're eating it, we're enjoying it. We don't feel guilty for having it. We feel really good about the plans that we made honoring our desires and enjoying it.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:18:19]:
And when we really enjoy it, mindfully eat it, really have planned for it, looking forward to it, eating it. We don't end up needing bar after bar, partly because we're knowing that our stomach is full, that we've had enough food, but also because we've gotten all the enjoyment out of it. If we're not sneaking it, if we're not doing something forbidden, we can do it out in the open. And this is just to ourselves, even I'm not talking about to other people. And we can really enjoy it. When we do, we can make the connections inside our body, like, oh, I'm done. I don't need 12 of these. It really makes a difference.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:19:04]:
Not only are you showing yourself you can be trusted around candy because you know how to handle it. You show yourself that you can have what you genuinely want and you can be kind to yourself and still lose weight, no matter the time of the year or circumstance. Because when you're practicing this skill, you can see you can do it anytime. Birthdays, anniversaries, vacations, office parties, everything. So in conclusion, if you're wanting to lose weight in this season, it's possible. That's the first thing I really want you to know. It is possible. And it doesn't require deprivation or isolation.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:19:46]:
In fact, the process can't include deprivation or isolation if it's to work and be permanent. It does require a different approach than you're used to. And that approach, the weight loss for fertility way, builds a stronger relationship with yourself as a vital foundation for everything going forward. This is why it's permanent, because we're building something that lasts as part of the strong relationship with yourself. You're accepting your desires for tastes and experiences. You're accepting your body's needs, that it has a hunger, that it needs to be fed, and also that it has a limit. There's enough, and it doesn't want to be overfed and feel uncomfortable. And you're accepting that humans evolve best with kindness, not threats or judgment.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:20:48]:
And when we evolve with kindness, the changes are permanent. It's sometimes hard to believe that it's possible to do it this way, but it's actually the only way. And when it feels painful, it's not the right way. Feeling better means it's permanent and will work. And that's what I want for you, the understanding that the better feeling way is the better way. So, happy Halloween. I'm glad to be back talking with you. I hope it's full of kindness for yourself as the start to this emotionally complicated time of the year through New Year's, but stick around for lots of support and love to help you through it.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:21:40]:
I am sending you so much love.
