Stephanie Fein MD [00:00:00]:
Hello, fabulous. It's me, Dr. Stephanie Fein with weight loss for fertility. And it is 2026. It has been for almost two weeks now. If you're listening to this in real time and we officially are on the other side of the holiday season and I don't know about you, but you might be feeling a bit of post holiday blues. I get a pang of this when I take down the decorations. It's like a little sad.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:00:27]:
I'm always reluctant to do it. I put it off a little bit. The feeling is like regular life is boring. It's like it goes from color to black and white and it was special and now it's not. And it's such an interesting time because my house looked fine. Before, I was very happy with how my house looked, but then with the decorations, it looked so good and fun and festive and now it looks naked. And that is a very normal way of thinking. There's something called hedonic adaptation, and I think we've talked about this before, but our brains get very.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:01:06]:
Even if it's very elevated and different, our brains get used to it right away. It's so interesting. We think we, if we get our dream lottery ticket, we get used to living in a bigger house and going on more trips. This can also happen with weight loss. When we lose all our weight, we think, oh, everything's gonna be amazing. And it is for a moment and then it's just regular. That's just your new normal. The wonderful thing about that is if we're doing it losing weight, the weight loss for fertility way, you can maintain it so that adaptation doesn't take away and have you start gaining weight, you are set up for doing all the things that will support that new weight.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:01:55]:
That's just a side note because that's we're talking about hedonic adaptation. When it comes to special times like a holiday, your brain just gets used to it and it doesn't remember that it's a temporary thing. It thinks it should be like that always. But it's nice to have temporary pleasure spikes because it's nice to have things be special. If our house always had sparkly lights, then it wouldn't feel like holiday come December. Now, there are definitely some people who keep their holiday lights on all year and I bet you get used to their house on the street and it's not then special. The time isn't demarcated if the twinkly lights are on or off. There are times when we want to make things special and as a culture we've decided that we wanted to make things special and winter celebrations are one of them often because it's dark and cold and so we want to bring light in.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:02:57]:
And so we have celebrations around that Also. A birthday can be a time when there's more attention on you. That can feel really great. We've culturally decided that we want to make things special and they're only special in contrast to our usual. Sometimes having been through the holidays or a birthday or whatever, it can spark this idea that we really want to have more of X, Y or Z in our life all the time. And so you can have really enjoyed spending time with family members or friends. And you decide, you know what, I'm not going to wait just once a year to have this. And then you make an effort and you figure out a way to have it more often.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:03:38]:
Amazing. Same with decorating. I don't know about twinkly lights, although maybe you'll want to do that. But you can rearrange your furniture or get more stuff on the mantel, that sort of thing. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. We can incorporate things that we want to feel all the time in our lives and we can figure out a way to do that. And we can still have special moments. We can do both.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:04:08]:
We just have to think that through a little bit. How do we want to do it now? What we're talking about today is about food because we talk about weight loss here, weight loss for fertility specifically. And so in order to get our bodies ready, we want to make sure we're on track for whatever our goal is. So we want to be intentional with our choices and we always want to make kind, conscious decisions. So now is the perfect time to check in with ourselves after the holidays. If there are any holiday food habits that are hanging around that it's time to return to normal. And I had one of these, which is how this episode was born in the market. And this is often how it happens, right? It starts with the pumpkin stuff.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:05:02]:
It's interesting because that's usually short lived. They start at a certain time and then it's not available anymore. And then in terms of food, pumpkin stuff, it's over. And that can be helpful that way. Although I have been known to keep some pumpkin pancake mix. I have pancakes rarely, but when I have them, that's the one I want. And again, that's from Trader Joe's. I do love Trader Joe's.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:05:29]:
Around the holiday time they had these oat creamers, non dairy creamers for your Coffee or whatever. And one caught my eye and it was like a brown sugar oat creamer and it was really fun. I put it in my tea. I even tried the gingerbread one and there was a cinnamon one and I did not like those. But the brown sugar one I got used to. Now, of course, interestingly, I was thinking about this. I had to get used to it. So I had my tea just plain and I like it that way.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:06:00]:
It's very enjoyable to me. But I started adding this creamer and it took a couple tries to be like, oh yeah, I'm enjoying this. And so I started noticing that it's a new habit and I remembered that I didn't used to have. I used to enjoy my tea perfectly well. So that's where this has come from is my noticing my holiday habit and knowing that it's time for a change. Now you may notice the same thing. Often it's buying something that was on display at the market, but also you may have a candy bowl at work or at home that you put out for holiday time and it just stays. Or you may have not stopped at like a Starbucks or a cafe and then you started doing it and now you find yourself doing it all the time or ordering in more because it was busy time and now you're just ordering in out of habit or break room snacks that could be a big one where people were going because there were all the holiday things out and now you see yourself going more often, whereas before you didn't.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:07:15]:
If you're continuing to lose weight and you love the new habit, you have zero problem. It's amazing. But if you aren't losing weight and you want to, or if you noticed you gained a little bit over the holidays, then I invite you to examine any new habits that may have crept in and we often just don't see them. So the invitation is real. The really good news is that it's relatively easy to return to pre holiday behaviors once we catch it. It's way easier than establishing a brand new habit or getting rid of something that has been long established. This was a new habit and it's relatively easy to stop. So how do you break a holiday habit? I'm glad you asked.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:08:08]:
The first thing, as always, is that you notice it. It's time to notice if there are any habits that you picked up during the holidays and that you don't want to continue. Now, depending on how many you have, I only had the new creamer one and so if it's one, you may not need to Make a list. But if you have a couple of them, you can write them down. It's especially good to write them down as you're in different places. So if you're at work and you notice them there, or if you're at home at night and you notice them, or if in the morning you notice them, you can jot them down. If things are different, you can make a list. And then if you have more than one, you can decide to tackle them one by one or all at once.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:08:53]:
It's this idea of ripping off the band aid or easing in. There is no wrong way to do that. You get to decide now. One word about the ripping off the band aid. It's not a problem if we are making conscious decisions to undo a new habit. And we can do it all at once, like go cold turkey if we're making that decision. Knowing the rest of what I'm going to tell you, that's amazing. What we don't want to do is punish ourselves.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:09:31]:
We don't want to notice that we have a habit and then tell ourselves, I can't believe you have that habit. Look at what you've done. This is terrible. Like any punishing that. And we don't want to say, you have to just stop it now as a punishment. We want there to be a decision made. And so you may decide to ease into it and that may feel better to you. I don't want you to decide to go cold turkey if it's a decision that you're making.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:10:03]:
Amazing. But we do not punish ourselves around here. And also because not only does it feel terrible, but it doesn't work. If you don't really want to change the habit and you force yourself to, it will creep back in or it will be food noise. And that doesn't work. That chips away at us. And then that also affects our relationship with ourselves because we can't keep it up and then sneaks back in. We're upset with ourselves.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:10:35]:
We want to be able to make conscious decisions. That doesn't mean everything goes perfectly all the time. But we're in a different place where we're not punishing, we're understanding of change. And change can take a little minute. And it really is okay because we're always going for permanence. We're going for sustained change. And this is the way we do that. So we first notice, we make a list.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:11:02]:
We decide how we're going to do it. So how we're going to do it means either all at once or easing in. We can pick a date, we can use up the carton. However you want to do it, you can give that a try. But make that decision ahead of time with the best of intentions and the knowledge you have at the time. Amazing. And then here's the main part. Be willing to feel the feelings.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:11:29]:
Because there will be feelings and we can anticipate them. We know already what they're going to be. Maybe some sadness, maybe some nostalgia, maybe some boredom. Now that we don't have that particular thing, it feels like we're missing something. Those are very normal. When we're removing something, something from our daily life, we don't have to make it mean that life sucks the regular way. Or it's way better with the, like oat creamer. If we tell ourselves, oh, this was a special holiday thing, the holiday's over, it's time for it to go back, that can work really well.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:12:06]:
That can help us with the feelings. Now remember, we're going to feel the feelings, we're going to identify them, we're going to allow them to be there, and then they move through us. They really are temporary. Especially in this kind of scenario where it's just a new holiday habit. We might feel strange and we might feel those feelings, but it really will be temporary because our old habit is the much more ingrained one. When we remember why we're changing, it is very helpful. So for some of us, it might be weight loss. If we notice that we gain some or we're not losing, we also want to remind ourselves that we were perfectly happy before we were.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:12:48]:
It was a really good thing we had. Like with my tea, I really enjoyed my tea. I truly did. Now, if I didn't, then it's up to me to figure out how to have tea that I enjoy. That's a very different thing. But assuming that we had a system and a habit in place that we were good with, that we liked, then we just have to remind ourselves, I really liked, that everything was fine. It's going to be okay. We also can remind ourselves that we like having special things.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:13:21]:
We like having the holidays be marked by oat creamer or decorations, and that it'll give us something to look forward to if we go back to normal. And then we create the specialness, we can remind ourselves of the hedonic adaptation and we use it to our advantage. Right? Because if we go back to our normal habit, we will get used to that too. We can reassure ourselves that it will feel just the way it did before. Good, fine, normal. And then we Want to create a new non food habit that sparks joy. If we can use this as a transition or we can replace it. But let's say my tea, I was really missing the oat creamer.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:14:10]:
I could decide to have my tea looking outside at the birds or out I could sit outside or I could do something with the having the tea that makes it a little bit special, a little different. And another one was ordering. An example was ordering out more. We can find alternatives to that so we could make the dish we were liking at home or we could find good versions at the market or we could trade off making meals with our partner. We can figure figure out what did we like about that, what worked and is there another way for us to do that if we don't want to be ordering in as much anymore? This kind of habit change is so much quicker and easier than establishing a brand new habit. Going back to something we did much easier it turned out and I was a little concerned about it. I was ready to feel the feelings and I did this for myself. But going back to my tea was painless.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:15:11]:
I really do like my tea regular. It's so interesting. It's actually making me remember I don't need creamer. Next year when it's available. We'll see if I remember that. But I was able to just actually I had more creamer and I just tossed it because I just really didn't need it. And what I realized too is that it's actually easier to not add the creamer than to add it because it's another creamer. Couple of steps in the morning refrigerator, taking it out and shaking it up, all that stuff.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:15:38]:
It's also fewer things to remember at the grocery store. It was a great reminder to me that going back can be absolutely painless, not a problem if it's painful. That's something to examine and it will give us good information. Because we don't want to go back to a life that was painful. We want there to be things that we like about our lives and we don't want to cope with it or compensate for that lack with food. Because remember, food is for when we're hungry. It's for fuel. It's not to fix non hunger things in our life.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:16:22]:
We sometimes do that. It's not a problem. But once we notice it, we want to make different decisions. Especially if we want to lose weight. So making the decision to use food for when we're hungry and not for any other emotions makes a big difference and makes weight loss much easier and permanent. And that's what we're about around here. Permanent weight loss that is not punishing. So that is how to break a holiday habit.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:16:57]:
We notice if our weight loss is stalling or if we picked up a few pounds over the holidays. We look for food holiday habits that we can drop now that the holidays are over. We notice that's the main thing when we plan the change and we're willing to feel any feelings like sadness that may come about with this change, knowing it will pass. New habits are so much easier to change than old ones and you might be surprised to find out that you're just as happy with the old habit. I am always here to help you with this. If weight loss is something you're working towards, I would love to support you. Lose weight with me. Go to StephanieFeinMD.com Click the lose weight with me button and we will be connected or on Instagram and LinkedIn.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:17:46]:
I'm @StephanieFeinMD. I'm sending you so much love until next week.
