Stephanie Fein MD [00:00:00]:
Hello, fabulous Dr. Stephanie Fein here with weight loss for fertility. I'm trying a little something new today. And this is born out of real life. So yesterday I had a sort of an off food day. I don't have a lot of those. Thankfully. I do the things that we talk about here, hunger scale mostly, that's it.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:00:23]:
And then my planning is by default because I have similar things all the time that I really love that I've dialed in that work out really well for me. So thankfully things run smoothly. However, yesterday I had a bit of an off day. And what I want to do, what I naturally do, is a food date. I do an evaluation and I don't always do it formally like writing it all out, but I have done that today or I'm in the process of doing that. I'm going to do that with you, with me, together. And I wanted you to see what a food date was like in case you haven't done one of those. And also how it works now, food dates in general, I recommend doing them for the week.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:01:11]:
So what you're doing is it's a two parter. You're looking back at the week that just passed to see how that went. And then you look forward at the week that's coming up to plan out things that are going on, including maybe your grocery list, but also when you're going out, where you're gonna go, how that's gonna be. You're getting your brain ready to anticipate what's happening. It rests when it knows what's happening in the future. It's really a great technique, works beautifully. So what happened here? And I guess this is the first part I'm just gonna say generally, and then we're gonna go into. Because I have an evaluation process that I'm gonna do with you.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:01:50]:
The general thing that happened and what triggered me to want to look at it was that last night I was not hungry and then I was hungry and then I did not choose a great. I didn't choose having a meal. I chose to have a snack, really thinking that it would be fine and then it was not. And then I was chasing hunger. It is. I just personally really do not like to be hungry. It just doesn't feel very good. And I've now, I think my sensitivity to that has gone so low.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:02:25]:
I am so used to eating when I'm hungry, stopping when I'm satisfied, and then being satisfied for a good amount of time, and then knowing when I will be hungry again and anticipating that, and then having what I need. It's just a. It's a very flowy kind of situation that I've set up for myself because it works so, so well. And then I really do not spend a lot of time being hungry, which, of course, we don't want. Right. Because when we are hungry, we don't make great decisions. And also it's uncomfortable. There's so many reasons not to.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:02:59]:
And also it's our body telling us something's up. So I don't like to be hungry. And I usually make choices so that I'm not hungry. But that did not happen yesterday. I was just. I thought wrong. And so here we are going to do a food date and an evaluation. And like I said, usually the food date is for the week before and the week going forward.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:03:25]:
But the same structure we use for a food date, we can use for a day, a meal, a moment. You can use it for an emotional eating overeat. We can use it for a day, a vacation, a weekend. You can use it for anything. We generally around here use it each week for sure. And then you can pull this out for an evaluation of anything that happens. So here we go. We are going to do the evaluation of my last night.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:03:56]:
Now, remember, and this is really important, there is a structure to a food date evaluation, and it is important that it go in this order. It's what worked first. Then we go to what didn't. Then what will I do differently? We have to say what worked first because our brain is all too happy to tell us all the things we did wrong. But there are always things that went well. And I was just reminded of how brilliant it is to practice having our brain think about what went well, because there's always something that did. And when we notice that, we can see our progress. We can see that it's not as bad as we thought it was.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:04:38]:
We can see so many things when we focus and think about what went well. So, first things, what went well? Yesterday, I did follow my hunger. So when I was hungry. And we're going to. Part of this is about the whole day. This is again, why I love this thing. It seems like dinner was my problem, but in thinking about this, it started at lunch. And often that will be the case.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:05:09]:
We like to blame. Often what we'll do is we'll blame our willpower at the one moment of choosing a cookie, when we overate it or whatever, because of course, we're happily allowed to eat cookies. But if there's something that you didn't like, we think about the moment that we made that decision, that's not usually the moment that we had choices to do it differently. It's usually further back. So, first, starting with what worked, I followed my hunger. Whenever I was hungry, I thought about what to eat, and I ate. I wasn't telling myself I couldn't. I wasn't angry that.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:05:47]:
That I was hungry. I just followed my hunger, which works out really well. Another thing that worked was I was not critical of myself for being hungrier yesterday. It did feel like yesterday I was hungrier. Some days we are, and some days we're not. And the wonderful thing is I was not beating myself up for being hungrier. I totally noticed that I was hungrier and I ate more, and I did not have drama around that. Now, let me tell you something.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:06:23]:
There absolutely was a time when I did, because what would happen, what would really happen, is I would think, oh, my goodness, I'm going to be this hungry every single day for the rest of my life. There's no way I'm going to be able to maintain my weight, lose weight, whatever I wanted to do. I would very much panic. And I understand that. Because if we're not used to eating when we're hungry, stopping when we're satisfied, not full, and then watching ourselves do that over time, we may think, oh, my goodness, I'm going to be very hungry every day for the rest of my life. But I've done this long enough to know that some days I'm hungrier, sometimes I'm less hungry, and if I'm following it, then all is well. So I really appreciate that. I can tell the difference now that I no longer worry about that.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:07:21]:
And that is such a wonderful thing to be able to say that I did not have a panic, I didn't have guilt, I didn't have worry. And that is beautiful. And that can happen for you, too. This is partly, of course, why I'm doing this, is because it's possible that you can have a day when you're hungrier and want to evaluate it like I did here. Because I'll tell you what I wasn't happy with, but it wasn't because I was critical of myself. It wasn't because I was disappointed in myself. It's just, oh, I felt physically uncomfortable in a way that I normally don't. How can I avoid that next time? Or what can I learn? How did that happen? Really, even tone.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:08:06]:
It's just. It's curiosity, it's not criticism. And oh, my God, I'm so happy about that. So that's definitely something that worked. So we started with, I was able to follow my hunger. I was not critical of myself for being hungrier. I didn't go down the rabbit hole of thinking, I will always be this hungry. I'm telling you, I would have done that, but I didn't.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:08:28]:
I was like, oh, that's so interesting. I'm hungrier today. And I did have some of my food available for myself. I did not have all of it, and that's going to be part of the problem. But I definitely had some. My breakfast was available. And also, I'm going to put this in context. Yesterday was my first full day back from a little trip.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:08:49]:
And I think that will factor in here because normally I'll go shopping on the weekend. And I was away for the weekend, so we had less than we normally do. And I think that factors in. But I did have some of my food available. Usually what I'll do, and again, this will probably go into what I'll do differently, is I'll make sure I have my breakfast food. As long as I have my breakfast food, I'm good. But I did have my breakfast food. So I had some things available that I wanted.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:09:20]:
These are the things that worked yesterday, and I'm thrilled about this. Reminding myself that I'm great at following my hunger scale, that my critical voice is so much quieter, and that this doesn't feel like the end of the world is beautiful. Now my sort of nervous system is ready to talk about what didn't in a way that's calm, because so many things in the big picture went well. Okay, what didn't? My day was just off, and I can't tell which came first, the chicken or the egg. Was I hungrier because of the way I ate, or did I eat because I was hungrier? I'm not entirely sure, but we'll keep going with what didn't work. So lunch ended up being more piecemeal than I like. I normally have a lunch like my usual lunch, which is often it will be a protein and a salad, basically. I love it.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:10:21]:
It's so easy and fantastic. What happened was I did not have my usual protein available, and there wasn't actually any proteins available. Sometimes I'll have leftovers. I'll make ground beef for the week, and that'll last me. I don't know. It's not for the whole week. It'll last me like three days. I didn't have that and I didn't have any leftovers because we had just gotten back.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:10:43]:
So I was there, open the fridge, no prote in there. And that is the biggest issue, I'm thinking for sure. So what happened then with lunch is that there was a little bit of protein and I had a little bit. It was not enough. It wasn't the normal amount that I have. And so I think that was so then I was chasing the hunger because I only had a little protein less than I normally have. Then I had string cheese and then I had like cold cut. I was nibbling, I didn't overeat, I didn't eat past two.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:11:19]:
But that is not my usual food. And I do think it makes a difference. I think the type of protein, like all our bodies are different. So someone may have been very satisfied with that lunch. And for me, it just physically wasn't satisfying in a way that I would have liked. So we all have to test for ourselves. And I know myself and was reminded that I really do feel best when I have 3, 4 ounces of protein. And I did not have that yesterday.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:11:58]:
So I had my lunch and I ate till positive two and I was satisfied for a while. But like I said, it doesn't act the same way in my body as my usual lunch does. And so when dinner came, this is what happened. When dinner came, I wasn't very hungry for it because I had eaten this sort of piecemeal lunch and my body did not feel its normal. Energized after eating and then clearly hungry, it was off. And so I didn't think I was that hungry. It didn't feel that hungry. I really thought that sort of a snack would do it for dinner.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:12:39]:
Obviously it wasn't like dinner, but it was. I thought a protein bar would be perfect. I was like, oh, you know what? I'm not that hungry. I had this weird lunch. I'm gonna have a protein bar for dinner. A couple things happened there. I also think after travel, we're more tired. I am.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:12:57]:
I'm more tired than I predict I will be. And so there was some, not some. I wasn't very willing to cook food. I'm also not a cook. I really never cook. So I have to be cooking. So I have to be fair to myself. It's not like it was only coming back from a trip, but cooking is just not one of my favorite things.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:13:20]:
And by the end of the day when I'm tired, I can pretty much bet that I'm not going to want to do much. So all of this is filling out for me the picture of what happened yesterday. I Thought I would be okay with a protein bar. That was the sort of biggest mistake. Because what happened is I wasn't then. Later I was hungry. Now, I did eat when I got hungry, but I had to be uncomfortable two more times. It just wasn't not my fave.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:13:48]:
I do not like being uncomfortable and I don't like how it felt. And this is really why I'm doing this evaluation, because I don't want to go through that again. Okay. Those are the things that didn't work. Yeah, I miscalculated how I'd feel after the protein bar. I really thought the protein bar would last me longer. It did not. And I don't normally have protein bars for dinner.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:14:11]:
So it could be. And our bodies are so interesting that a protein bar may have worked in the afternoon, but not in the evening. We do have different hormones at the end of the day, and maybe that impacts this, I don't know. But I miscalculated and now I know. So those are the things that didn't work. And then what will I do differently? And so you see how that flows from what worked. I wasn't critical, so now I can do an evaluation. I followed my hunger.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:14:42]:
What didn't. I was hungry. I didn't eat protein. I didn't have things in the fridge or available to me as much as I wanted. So what will I do differently now? It's pretty straightforward. I will have. When it's dinner time, I will have a meal. And protein always satisfies me longer.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:15:02]:
But by the way, notice it's not just the dinner. I didn't have enough protein at lunch. So what I will do differently is, is make sure I have what I need. I had just gotten back from a trip. It's a vulnerable, tired time. I will remember that next time I go on a trip. And again, I usually do. So I made sure I had the breakfast, but now I need to make sure I have the whole day.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:15:30]:
One thing I can do in order for that to happen is to make sure I have something in the freezer that I like. As I mentioned, I'm not a cook, but I certainly can stick something in a microwave. And so if I had a frozen meal and Trader Joe's is a place that has very good emergency meals, and I do like to have that in the freezer. I didn't have that this time. So here are a couple things to do differently on my marketing list. I will be putting that I will refill my emergency meals and then remember that when I go on a Trip. I'm going to want to make sure I have something in the fridge for the day that I come back. The other thing that would have helped is if I had planned my day in advance.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:16:17]:
So we got home late ish Monday and then Tuesday. I did not plan out my day for food. Now I highly recommend this. I think it's a really useful thing. Again, the brain likes to have a plan and when it does, it relaxes. The thing about me is I usually I have my days on repeat so I always know what I'm eating, but clearly did not that day. I could have checked the fridge when we got home, seen what I, I did, make sure we had breakfast, but I didn't go further than that. If I had made sure or decided what I was going to have for lunch or dinner, that would have made a difference.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:17:02]:
And so it's just that one extra step and I absolutely can do that. That is not a problem. It's not asking too much. It's not something beyond me. These are definitely things I can do. And I love thinking about this way because it's just decisions based on data. I'm not critical of myself. I'm not angry with myself.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:17:28]:
I'm not shoulding myself or berating myself. I am looking to see, oh yes, that's what happens when I don't have the protein. It's an. It's uncomfortable. And that's the main thing. The thing that triggered me to want to do this is because I was physically uncomfortable when I was hungry and so I ate. But I did not do negative two to positive two for dinner. And that is what I'm reminding myself to do.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:17:58]:
And you notice that it's not just me saying, oh, I should have stopped eating or I. It was the whole day. The whole day contributed to how this played out. That is my evaluation of yesterday. I feel pretty good about the fact that won't happen again when I come back from a trip. I'm going to make sure I have food for the day. I am going to make sure also that I have protein. Which by the way, today I did.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:18:29]:
I made my protein. So we have protein. I'm back on track. It feels so much better. Oh my goodness. I can't even tell you. Being able to do this evaluation without being critical is everything. Because if I was being critical, I wouldn't be this open to thinking about all the things that could be different.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:18:50]:
I would just be berating myself. It's so valuable to have the attitude of curiosity rather than criticism. It's not only a nice to have, it's a must have. It's critical thinking and curiosity cannot coexist. We need to quell the criticism so that curiosity can be available to us and then we can make decisions that support us. I love the food date and I love the hunger scale and I love talking to you about this. So the takeaways for me from this were food dates work. Remember, we start with what works, then we go to what didn't.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:19:33]:
And then it naturally happens that we decide what we'll do differently. We're curious, not critical. And that way we can squeeze the most juice out of the lemon. It's so nice not to have an automatic critical voice around food anymore. What a pleasure. The fact that I don't have to fight that or deal with that and I can just say, oh, that didn't work out the way I wanted, what worked and what am I going to do differently? That is a privilege. I am so grateful for it. I cannot even tell you.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:20:07]:
Knowing what to do gives the brain a rest and it feels really good. So I knew that if I just did an evaluation, if I did a food date, if I did what worked, what didn't, what am I going to do differently? I would learn and I would be able to move forward. That's all I needed to do. I didn't have to fret and I didn't have to worry and I didn't have to any of those things. I just had to do an evaluation done. Another thing that is a takeaway from this is that the hunger scale works. I love feeling energized all day. It's motivating to live that way that I don't have to worry about the discomfort of hunger and what am I going to eat.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:20:45]:
And if we, if I follow the hunger scale, if I plan and if I do my evaluations, that's all I'll ever need to do to be the weight. I want to feel the way I want to feel. And the last thing is that protein is a good friend for me and my body. Gosh, it makes all the difference. And so having it around is important for me and how I feel in the day. Energized and not uncomfortable. That's my food date, everyone. I would love to help you with this.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:21:16]:
This was an example. You certainly can do it on your own. You can also ask me any questions. I'm on Instagram @StephanieFeinMD. You can DM me, you can reach out to StephanieFeinMD.com you can contact me there. And you can also lose weight with me there. You just press the lose weight with me button and we will be connected until next week. I am sending you so much love.
