Stephanie Fein MD [00:00:00]:
Hello, fabulous Dr. Stephanie Fein here with.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:00:03]:
Weight Loss for Fertility and welcome to.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:00:07]:
The Hunger Scale Handbook series. Over the next seven weeks, you're getting a deep dive into the nitty gritty of the number one tool for sustainable weight loss, and that's the Hunger Scale. In this compilation of past episodes, you'll be reminded of the how, why and exactly what of this versatile tool that'll have you connecting to your body and hunger the way you did when you were a baby, when you had no food issues, getting back to your factory settings before diet, culture, well meaning parents and social media had you doubting yourself, starving yourself and getting in the habit of overeating in direct response. The Hunger Scale is the best place to start to lose weight permanently and safely when you're trying to get pregnant. It can be used now and even in pregnancy and beyond. I'll be referring to this series for years to come. Listen, practice and refine over the next weeks. Feel free to ask me any questions that arise.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:01:11]:
I'm always looking for ways to communicate the nuances of the Hunger Scale better and better. There is so much to glean from this valuable tool. Find me on Instagram @StephanieFeinMD DM me or contact me on my website, stephaniefeinmd.com and now the Hunger Scale Handbook Series. Week seven, negative one.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:01:38]:
Hello, fabulous. I hope you're well. Are you using the hunger Scale? It's such a good tool. Oh my goodness, it's such a useful tool. And check out episode two for the basics of that, because that whole episode is about it in general, because we're going to dive a little deep into one aspect of it. But I just want to give you the general idea. It goes from negative five, which is empty, very hungry, all the way to positive five, which is Thanksgiving, full, stuffed, unbuttoning your pants. And I like to say that we eat at negative 2, which is hungry, and we stop at positive 2, which is satisfied.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:02:21]:
Or another way to say that is enough. Or another way to say that is no longer hungry. And like I said, go back to episode two to hear more about. Takes some practice to find these levels for yourself. So I can't tell you what it feels like in your body for that. Everyone is different. Some people get a grumbling tummy, some people get lightheaded, some people get angry, all that sort of stuff. And sometimes when we look for positive two, if we're used to eating to positive three or positive four, then we just back up a little.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:02:50]:
We're like, oh, this is full. So I'm going to have less next time. It's one of those kinds of things it just takes a minute to figure out. A lot of us have a problem with the positive 2 part. The stopping with satisfied can be tricky again, because we're used to eating until full, or we clean our plate, or we eat whatever the restaurant gives us. And it's not based on how we're actually feeling with the food, whether we've had enough or we're no longer hungry. But the hungry side can be tricky too. And that's what we're gonna talk about today.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:03:23]:
So the big picture of the hunger side is to not let yourself get too hungry, because we'll overcompensate if we get too hungry. We'll overcompensate and we'll overeat almost every time. And in fact, if we let ourselves get really hungry, I think it's some hormones. I haven't found any studies on this, but it feels like a bottomless pit. Like you actually can no longer feel the satisfied peace if we let ourselves get too hungry. That's why the magic happens at negative two to positive two, because we can actually feel those things. If we get too hungry, then we can't even feel the satisfied part. The hungry part can be really tricky.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:04:06]:
And it could be tempting to want to ignore hunger signs in the hopes that they'll go away. Our brains are so funny that they think that makes sense only because every day it doesn't work. But whatever. Sometimes we're hoping they'll go away. Of course, the problem is some, they do go away sometimes, but then they come back with friends. So if you are successful in ignoring it, when it comes back, it's very big. And then again, we get into that bottomless pit thing going on. So ignoring it never works.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:04:36]:
We live in bodies that have needs. They need fuel. And so when we can accept that's true, and then feed it accordingly, fuel it accordingly, then we will be so much happier with our productivity, our mood, our energy. Everything will work out so much better. So it just behooves us to learn to use the negative two. Positive two, eat at negative two, stop at positive two. So when we do the overeating, meaning we've gotten too hungry and we overeat, that will lead to weight gain every time. That seems pretty clear when we just overeat, and especially all the time, or very often, that leads to weight gain.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:05:21]:
So there we are. But what happens with negative one? What does negative one look like? Of course we're using the hunger Scale to not gain weight, to find the way that our body feels fueled, that we feel comfortable with our hunger and with our satisfaction. And then we have the energy we want. Okay, so now that we know about negative 3, 4, and 5, which is too much hunger, we're looking to eat at hungry, which is minus two. What about minus one? Some of us actually have trouble with that piece, Most of us, until we figure it out. But also there's negative one. So what about minus one? Minus one is just starting to get hungry. Minus two is hungry.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:06:14]:
So for some of us, the work is finding negative two versus negative three, which is what I was just talking about. A little too hungry. Negative three is a little too hungry. So we just look for that. Another way people can find themselves overeating is when they eat every time they're at negative one. That can also lead to weight gain, because we're eating too often, more often than we actually need. And this can happen when any feeling of hunger feels like a problem. Like even the slightest bit of hunger feels like it must be fixed.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:06:49]:
It needs immediate attention. And that's really an interesting thing to notice. So remember, we're waiting until minus two, which is hungry, but we do therefore have to go through negative one, which is starting to get hungry. So there is a feeling that we have in our bodies at negative one. And discerning negative one from minus two is part of the job of finding out where your negative two is. So if someone experiences panicky feeling at negative one, where it feels like an emergency, that's really good to know. I used to. I totally remember feeling this way before I figured out the hunger scale and my body's needs.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:07:38]:
I was so out of touch with my hunger, I used to just get hangry. I remember this so well. I even had. This is, like, embarrassing, but I had a lot. This is clearly a long time ago, but I had a boyfriend who would carry around food just for this exact purpose. Because I was just completely out of touch with when I needed food and when I should eat and what my hunger signals were. He knew better than I did. I now have compassion for that past me, I just did not understand.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:08:10]:
And I was not accepting of my body's needs or rhythms. And others had to deal with those consequences. Poor people. Not anymore. Things are different now, thank goodness. But until we learn it, we don't know. And it feels like moods are out of our control. And then we never know when hunger's coming.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:08:33]:
And that part's not true. If we start paying attention and using the Hunger scale. So now I'm aware of my signals and I accept that I'll need food in the day and general times that I'll need it and I look out for myself and that improves everyone's experience of me, most importantly my own. Right back to negative one. Negative one is not very hungry. Negative one is just starting to get hungry. So it's not an emergency, it's more like a warning. It says, pay attention.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:09:10]:
In about 30 minutes or so it'll be time to eat. So do you know what we're going to eat? Do you need to start acting or ordering or preparing or something? Maybe it's all ready to go and you can just keep going until negative two comes. But it's like a heads up and that's really useful. But if instead we don't use it as a heads up, but we're like, oh, I'm having a feeling, it's an emergency. And then we eat to quell that feeling, to calm the feeling, because it's starting to feel a little uncomfortable, we are going to overeat. That is too much eating. Eating at every whiff of a hunger will lead to weight gain. Now sometimes it's just a simple adjustment.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:10:00]:
Like it's just a misclassification of the numbers on the scale. As you're learning, that's not a problem. But if we get panicky around the feeling of negative one, just a hint of hunger, often that means we're very uncomfortable with any form of discomfort that's so important. It's really worth noting because negative one is a feeling. It's a physical feeling in our body and it's not necessarily pleasant, but it's not an emergency. But if we're not used to feeling things, if we can't tolerate any feelings in our body, physical or emotional, then paying attention to this one will feel like an emergency. This could be the mechanism for some of us about why we overeat the emotional eating. It's eating to ease any uncomfortable feelings in the body.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:10:58]:
If the slightest feeling of anything uncomfortable, we eat to stop it. That is the definition of emotional eating. It's really good to know this about ourselves and knowing the negative one, or playing with the idea of negative one and feeling like it's panicky is a great clue. This is such good information to know. And so if we're having problems with negative one, we want to learn how to tolerate some discomfort in the long enough to identify what it is and deal with it appropriately. Now remember, we're talking about negative one, which is Just starting. Hunger. This is not negative three, negative four, negative five, which are much more uncomfortable.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:11:49]:
And of course, I'm not asking you to tolerate anything very painful. What I'm talking about is tolerating a small discomfort. And some of us cannot do that. Now, some of us are very good at ignoring every discomfort in our body. We're not talking about that today. That is the flip side of this, which also does not serve you in the long run. But here we're talking about if you're having problems with the slightest bit of discomfort, or it may not even be a discomfort, it could just be like a sensation. But that sensation sets off a panic, and immediately food goes in to solve it.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:12:28]:
If we can tolerate feeling it a little, allowing ourselves to notice any of the sensations or feelings in our body, then we can get to the point where we can identify them. And when we can identify them, then we can appropriately deal with them. This developing a tolerance for slight discomfort is essential to knowing what's going on with ourselves. It's needed to know how you're feeling, what your needs are. Also, if there's danger, right, we need to. These are signals that our body uses. This is not a broken system. This is the way that our brain communicates to our body, to ourselves, what's going on.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:13:15]:
So we want to learn how to tolerate some discomfort in the body. And this is a wonderful way to start to do it. Hunger, negative one versus negative two. Because as you're starting to notice those levels, then you'll start to allow things like frustration. How does that feel in your body? How do you know when you're frustrated? And instead of just immediately saying, oh, that's a danger signal, we have to stop frustration. We can then say, oh, why am I frustrated? How can I actually deal with the problem of the frustration? Is there something I can do there? Because food is not the answer to frustration. Food is not even the answer to negative one. It's the answer to negative two.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:14:00]:
The answer to negative one is, oh, I'm gonna be hungry in 30, 40 minutes. Let me prepare. When we're allowing ourselves to notice a slight discomfort and then figure out what it's leading to, what it is, our whole world changes. So instead of feeding sadness, we can process it. We can get a hug, we can talk to a friend. It's not necessarily an emergency. Now remember, I'm talking about the beginnings of it, so that you can investigate it and then figure out a way to, to deal with it appropriately. And most of the time, it will not be food but there may be so much grief and sadness in there that if you're covering it up with food, we can't actually deal with it appropriately.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:14:53]:
It may be, like I said, hugs, it may be a therapist, it may be walking, it may be time with yourself. There's so many ways to deal with grief and sadness and food is not going to be your best. But we can't know this if we don't even let the little bitty bit of it start. This is not about tolerating tons of pain. That is not it. It's tolerating the beginnings of something in your body that's different. It may not even be uncomfortable. And then investigating that further and then giving yourself what you need based on that, you can handle any vibration in your body, because that's all it is.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:15:41]:
So even a terrible emotion is just a vibration in the body. You can handle it. Here we're not even talking about how to handle big ones. We're talking about the little ones as indicators. And that's so helpful. So this is why I absolutely love the hunger scale on so many levels. Letting yourself dip your toe into the feeling world inside your body by experiencing negative one and not feeding it is the gateway to having a fuller experience of life, of what's really going on for you. And this is so exciting.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:16:25]:
I always giggle about that because it's not that I want you to be in pain, but it's also very exciting because if you're noticing the pain or the discomfort, then you're becoming aware of it. Because when you know what you really feel, you can make decisions for your life based on the reality of the situation. Not what you hoped it would be, not what you wish it would be, but what it really is, how you really feel. And that's the path towards everything. You want the weight you want the job you want the partner you want the family you want. Knowing the way you feel is your path. And numbing it may have helped when you had no control over your reality, like when you were a kid. So it's actually a brilliant strategy to help deal with feelings when you don't know how to deal with them.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:17:18]:
If you weren't taught that as a kid, which not many are, food could have been a really smart way of dealing with it. It was the only thing you had access to as a kid, so it may have served you, but now it doesn't. So being aware of the feelings will lead you in the direction of the life that you want now, like I said, it's the path so thank you, Negative one. If we're having issues with it, it might be showing us that we need to examine our ability to tolerate a little discomfort. At least long enough for us to figure out what we are feeling and what it's indicating we need. I love this work. True, permanent weight loss is not just about how many ounces of food to eat. It's so much more than that, which is why it has felt hard in the past.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:18:16]:
If it was about how many ounces you would have done. It's not. It has to do with all these things, these hard things, these nuanced things. But stick with me and I'll show you how it really works. I am so honored for you to be here and I'd love to work with you. So there's a link in the show notes or you can go to my website, stephaniefeinmd.com that's F E I N. Click the Lose weight with me button and I'll help you navigate this stuff and you'll be the weight you want for the rest of your life. But that sustainable weight loss requires this work.
Stephanie Fein MD [00:18:59]:
So I know you can do it. You really can. And this is how we transform emotional eating. It's how we transform overeating, and it's how the rest of your life ends up feeling amazing, too. It really does work that way. I'm sending you so much love until next week. Bye.
